…when you can create it?  Reality, I mean.  Specifically yours.  Your way.  Why settle for what is, if what is isn’t satisfying?  If you are happy with how life is rolling, kudos and good on ya.  But, if you’ve ever felt that things could be better, this blog is for you.

Whether aware of it or not, we are all very busy creating our lives and all that happens to us.  When things go splat, a common knee-jerk reaction is to find someone or something to blame.  If you’re looking for short term relief, that’ll do.  Turning things around for the long run requires an alternate approach.  (I’ve done both and, for me, the second option brings longer lasting results and feels much better.)

"As Deep as the Ocean" Before (left) - watercolor on watercolor paper. After (right) - The original painting float-mounted on painted canvas panel.  I embellished details with more paint and crayon and deepened the shadow behind and around the heart for greater contrast.

If you have ever played the comparison game, you may have noticed, as you looked about, a lopsided distribution of who has what.  Usually, the first response is to rationalize (or soothe) by telling ourself that some people were born privileged or lucky, some have all the right connections, others have been guided by a mentor.  Bottom line:  Though it may not seem fair, it is.  What I mean is, we get what we think about.  We create the chaos or the cure.

Good news!  If we don’t like what we see, we can change this at any stage we choose.  (And it’s easier to do than you might think.  Keep reading.)

Most of us have been taught that actualizing dreams involves hard work along with its companions perseverance, follow through, and manning up.  When it works, it works.  When it doesn’t, it can be a disaster - the downward spiraling kind leaving one to wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”  This is a perfect example of using thinking to create chaos.

Chaos is multiplied when, in our confusion or frustration, we apply more of the same (hard work’s companions mentioned above) while telling ourselves, “I’ll double down this time; I’ll make myself do better!”  The pattern repeats, and multiple repetitions can become “just the way things are”.

We adapt, we compromise, we settle and sometimes we just stop trying.  The reasons are many, but the underlying factor is a sense of powerlessness.  And that’s not the truth.  We have far more control over our experience than we might realize.  It’s not we who are at fault, it’s our approach.

We’re either creating chaos or the cure.  The cure for me was learning this: Stop and look at what I’m thinking and then find some other thought or action that brings relief.  Ask: “What is the most positive thought I can find about this situation in this moment?”  Ask: “What one thing can I do right now to help myself feel better?”  I remind myself to not get too caught up in the outcome - just keep reaching for relief.  In a nanosecond, one can switch from passenger to pilot.

"Heartstrings" Before (left) - watercolor on watercolor paper.  This was one of two hearts I started while visiting Jean.  We had a lot of fun creating together in her studio. After (right) - The original painting float-mounted on painted canvas panel.  I tried a number of different background ideas before settling on just extending the heart like I did for “Ready For It” (see previous blog).  Good thing watercolor paints don’t build up like layers of oil paint.

Anyone here a Bill Murray fan?  Do you recall a movie titled “What About Bob?” starring Bill Murray as the whacked-out patient of psychoanalyst Richard Dreyfus?  The plot centered on Dreyfus’ attempts at teaching Murray the self-help methods outlined in his new book called “Baby Steps”.  Funny movie aside, my point is that sometimes the best positive thought or action available will be just a baby step from what’s going on.  A small change perhaps, but a change from what was, and worthy of celebration, as each micro step brings you closer to your true self and to all that you want to live.

I repeat: Find “happy” in as many moments as you can, don’t get too involved in the outcome, and the rest will fall into place.

Baby step, baby step, baby step…

Judy

Or…P.S.  Sometimes the best next step is to simply drop it.  Go get busy with anything other than what’s bugging you until something shows up to give you a direction to move in.

This unfinished watercolor painting has been on idle for about 3 years, maybe more…I don’t keep track (as I’m sure you understand).  I have many options so far (crop, collage, add texture and fluid acrylics, or cover it in gesso and start over) and none are speaking to me yet, so we're gonna continue staring at each other until someone blinks or I get an idea or I spill coffee on it…could be 3 more years.  Doesn’t really matter as I am still having so much fun doing this.  So, yay.